Saturday, 22 October 2011

gardening is like doing the dishes.

"no, its not weeds. just mow it anyway." i said to my partner as the rent inspection was the next day and i just wanted it done!
well, now i have silently elected myself to reverse the damage i have inevitably caused from my reckless gardening. For any of you who garden can appreciate how much effort it takes to fill an entire green waste bin with weeds and tree cuttings on your own! i learnt something today: men don't respond to reverse psychology and had to send Negative Nancy away before i seriously put a rake in his hand.

Just like the dishes, the longer you leave them the worse they get and there is no away around them as both sit scornfully awaiting. As painful as it seems the end product makes it all the more worth while! it's such a satisfying feeling looking back and seeing all the sweat and back breaking work had in fact made such a difference..

Thankfully Delilah slept peacefully and woke just as i was sweeping up. good timing baby :)

next week its the front yards turn!

Thursday, 20 October 2011

a little place called heaven..

never under-mind the importance of self clarity whether you're a mother or not we are all human and need a little time out. 
replace lights with candles and take all phones and ipods, laptops or anything that makes noise out of the bathroom you can't relax 100% if you have a distraction in the room, giving yourself that 30 minutes - 2 hours of complete silence is essential for keeping a healthy attitude. Especially if you're like me who is fighting a cold and in agony! People forget to tell you about the "no days off" section in the motherhood book... 

add a little lavender to the bath and your body will sing a big thank you. 

If all else fails share the moment.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Fears, hopes and dreams

  my fears

   broken heart -  depression
   not accomplishing my goals
   becoming a bad mother.
   as far as childhoods go i wouldn't say mine                            
   was rainbows and lollipops, so it is so important i get this right.. 


My hopes 

                To be happy and loved

 talk about the good old days
  To live in the moment


   have 1 or 2 more :)

Healthy living
healthy mind

                    well. a girl can only dream

my own horse

to win the lottery!

My dreams

little house with a picket fence, floor boards and glass pane kitchen cupboards.

with a puppy in the backyard.

To study
and complete it.

to have my own farm

Sunday, 16 October 2011

a house wife? what?

I currently don't have a job so technically this makes me a house wife. (even though i am not married)
my mornings go something like this:

5.30AM - feed lilah, feed new kitten i found back to bed

7.50am - get up bath lilah feed her let her play

9.30 - she has a sleep.

i have between 45mins to 2 hours to eat breakfast, shower, do the dishes and what ever else...

lets say she wakes up at 12. 

feed her, change her play with her: tummy time and generally keep her happy since she is going through this cling faze and i am not allowed to put her down which is ok by my because there is nothing better than a 3 month baby cuddle. 

so by now its about 2 and havent had a chance to do anything really and she will go down for another nap around now. a shorter one but still a nap!
i have about 45 minutes to scrub the bathroom clean the laundry vacuum the floors tidy the clutter. You can start to understand how fucking hard it can be to keep things together..

by 4.30 im getting ready for our afternoon walk which is around the block and takes about 45mins.
home by about 5.30 then its shower time then dinner time by 6 and then in bed by 7.
after that i want to just sit down. but i have to cook dinner as well so the mess is back, hooray i have something to do for tomorrow (as if there is nothing else to do) and its a monday which means the partner has been home and he sleeps in so getting anything done is impossible because i dont want to wake him up. did i mention the 3 week old kitten i found? yeah. its still in nappies.

I love my job, i do. i just wish i had a double who would clean for me while i was playing and feeding the baby. maybe one that didn't try their luck and give me advice?.. i am sure thats a wish many of you mums have out there, especially the single ones. i dont no how you do it!

being mummy..

Being a young mum. It is so many different emotions all at the same time.
love, envy, confusion and patients are just a few and as you can see they all contradict themselves entirely.

Love - it fills every crevice of my body for this beautiful little girl who i made. Who laughs and drools and spews every were. who can't talk but loves nothing more than the sight of your face. Something so rare has become so common in my life and it feels amazing.

Envy - because i do want to still do the things i did before, even though i know that it's mostly impossible. Having my friends go out and have fun and not be invited. well  it sucks who ever you are. Or the girls he looks at but cant stand the sight of me. child birth is a scary scary thing i understand that but it still makes me feel worthless.

Confusion - Why does this little person love me so much? How can i get so annoyed with sleepless nights, dirty nappies and spewed on clothes when she loves me so much. What makes me such a special mother? What can i do to make her love me forever and to listen to me and be the best mum i can be.
Why can't i lose the baby weight fast enough. What have i done differently? Who have i become. Is this who i really am? is this my purpose in life? why wont he look at me the same? why wont he kiss me like he used to?
Why is this all happening so fast. the list of questions is endless. and i am still in the process of answering them.

Patients - It is so important to have patients especially with a new born who's only way of communication is crying. Patients to get organised and into some form of routine. Patients for the people around you who want to pick her up at bed time or baby sit or give me advice over and over again. It's a personal trait that would go along way as far as wife or mothering goes.

I longed to be a mummy and when i found out i was pregnant (at 19) it was the happiest, scariest most exhilarating day of my life. I fell in love with the life inside of me instantly, it was my gift. I new from that day on things would never be the same but i was happy to follow it through and see were life intended this test to walk.
Telling my family was just as horrifying. I have 3 brothers who are older than me who dont have kids yet so you can imagine how i felt. along with a sister who had other things in her life (as if she needed any more stress) Mum well, she has watched me make mistakes over and over and i thought surely she would be disappointed. and my DAD oh god. I'm only 19 I'm his little girl what ever will he think. well i can tell you that he was less than impressed at first but to tell you the truth he turned around and was more compassionate towards me than ever before. I was so surprised at how a new life can bring so much positive change to the world..

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

girls night in?

So you have put the baby to bed, expressed if you're BF and have invited the girls over for a long awaited catch up here is a way to lighten up the mood and impress everyone with your new cocktail making skills..

what you will need:
1 punnet of strawberry
1 small can of diced pine apple + juice
lemon cordial


what to do:

blend strawberry and pineapple with juice of the pineapple.
add vodka and a cup (or more if you want more than 4 cocktails) of made up lemon cordial
add ice. blend.
in batches poor the mix through a sift making sure you get all the excess liquid.
then place in the freezer for about 4 hours.

tip: with the vodka fruit mush thats left over spoon it into ice block moulds and pour made up lemon cordial over the top that way they freeze.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

cookie monster!!

Ok so you're home alone, hungry and a little bit emotional. what do you do?
make the best cookies EVER and eat them until you feel all better :)

what you will need:

1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 tbs vanilla essence
180g melted butter
1 cup flour
1 1/2 self raising flour
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup caster sugar (or raw sugar if you want a crunchy surprise)
1 cup macadamia nuts (or i tried it with un salted cashews and they were just as good)
1 cup choc chips (a big cup. lets face it its not a healthy snack you might as well make them chocolaty awesome)
2 big spoons.

how to make them:

pre-heat oven to about 180*C
combine all the flours and sugar together until the flour turns brown.
make a well in the middle and add melted butter, egg and vanilla essence.
this is probably a good time to add the nuts and chocolate
then stir around until it forms a dough consistency
grease up an oven tray
then get your 2 spoons and scoop some mixture into a ball and place onto tray repeat until all the mixture is gone.
cook for 10 - 15 minutes
and let them cool a little so they dont fall apart when eating them!

seriously the easiest, quickest way to make cookies and they taste amazing. Perfect for coffee with the girls!

Monday, 10 October 2011


Love is a curious thing.
It's painful when it fails,
and senseless in understanding
whether it be the first time
a summer time fling
or the great love we yearn for
whether she sleeps in her cot
or the ones lost and forgot
we continue to love
and continue to love
for the rest of our lives...

baby baby baby

An important lesson to learn in life is that pregnancy also leads to child birth. Even 30 something hours of excruciating pain can be a little questioning as to who and if you are about to meet the love of your life.  A lot of the time i spent breathing and laughing - also not the way labor was intended but don't worry it laughed in my face when i was induced and almost killed me with off the Richter contractions! Who ever says it isn't that bad is  A LIAR. 

In all serious children are a cliche because they honestly are delightful and have certainly given my life purpose. 

You will have to forgive me - I am a little fresh with this blogging thing..